abelgalvan

Making Peace With Your Parents

2011-03-06T23:27:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone because there was so much interest in the message I gave today, “Making Peace With Your Parents”, I decided to publish my sermon manuscript in its entirety for you to check out and read. I don’t normally do this but my hope is that you will be able to hear my heart as I spoke on a very sensitive subject…Please let me know if this was of any help to you.

Making Peace With Your Parents
Relationships: There’s An App For That – Part 4
March 6, 2011

Well good morning If you have your bibles let’s turn to Ephesians 6:1-4 and let’s go ahead and pull out our outlines.

If you’re just joining us for today we’ve been in this series on relationship over the past few weeks and we’ve been looking at things like, what do healthy relationships look like, we’ve looked at the subject of marriage and how marriage is hard, but with God’s help it can be great. Last week we looked at what the bible has to say to parents about raising great kids. Well today I want to flip that subject around and take a look at what God has to say about the child to parent relationship.

In fact I’ve entitled this message Making Peace with Your Parents. Now I know that some of you have had great relationships with your parents, and that’s wonderful, thank God for that. But what we need to realized is that not everyone has had that experience. Why is that? Well it could be for a number of reasons: divorce, abandonment, neglect, abuse, you name it. Many relationships today between children and their parents have been infected one way or another. Infected by what? Things like anger, bitterness, sorrow, apathy…

Now I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know if I’m really gonna have the answer you might be looking for on this subject. But what I really want to do today is point you to the One who has all the answers to your questions, as well as the solutions, and that’s Jesus Christ.

I’ve broken this message into a couple parts,
 first were gonna take a look at what God says that you and I owe our parents,
 then secondly were gonna look at some principles on How to make peace with our parents…and how to find comfort in our lives.

Let’s start by looking at Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV) The bible says…
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

This is the first commandment with a promise. What’s the promise that if you honor your mother and father, you will enjoy life, and that you in fact live longer. Now I got to be honest I don’t know exactly how that all works, but God say there is a direct correlation between honoring our parent and enjoying life and living longer…

The Apostle Paul who wrote Ephesians is actually quoting from the 10 Commandments as found in the book of Exodus…

On the top of your outline…Exodus 20:12 (NIV) says
let’s read it out loud together…

"Honor your father and your mother, (there it is again) so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12 (NIV)

Now did you notice that there is no time limit, or age limit on this commandment? It just says honor your father and mother. It doesn't say anything about this is just for children. You can be 40, 50, 60, 70, maybe even 80 years old and your parent is 100, the bible says you and I are supposed to honor our father and mother.

I. Why Did God Give Us This Commandment?
Well I want to give you 3 reasons…there on your outline you want to take notes this morning…

The first reason is because…
• There’s No Such Thing As Perfect Parents
All of us have weaknesses and faults and inconsistencies, we’ve all made mistakes. Only God is the perfect parent. Even the best parents have made mistakes and sinned. The Bible says, "We've all sinned." As a result we're all just a little bit warped. None of us have perfect parents and you're not a perfect parent either.

Now the truth is, and you and I know this, that there are many parents who are unworthy of honor.
 They were abusive, manipulative, neglectful.
 So what does God tell us to do in this case? Am I supposed to ignore the pain, put on a happy face and pretend everything is great?
 No, you're not. But God is saying I want you to honor the position of parenthood.

The Bible says that there are 3 sources of authority in life: the home, the church, and the government. Each of them have roles. And all 3 of them are the basis for an orderly society. God wants us to honor the position of parenthood regardless of the personality behind it.

The second reason God gave us this commandment is because…
• Respect For Authority Begins At Home
This is a critical lesson that every child must learn. It will determine how well we’re going to do at school, in our career, in relationships.

The child who grows up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to have a hard time keeping a job. The fact is there are a lot of times we have to do what somebody tells us to do whether we want to or not.

 I heard about the kid who left home to join the Army because he didn’t want anyone telling him what to do anymore...He learned the hard way.

God wants us to learn to respect authority.

The 3rd reason he gave us this commandment is because…
• How I Relate To My Parents Affects All My Relationships

It’s the major forming factor in our life. Our style of relating is set at home. Even today, as a grown up, when we act in ways we don't understand and can't figure out our behavior, many times it's because we're still reacting to our parents.

Many marriages have been ruined because a spouse has never resolved a relationship with a parent and they're taking it out on their husband, or wife, or kids. They say things like "You're just like my mom."

 Research has shown that people who get along with their parents have far less stress in their lives.

This brings us to the next question…
HOW AM I TO HONOR MY PARENTS Like God wants me too?

II. What Does God Say I Owe My Parents?

Well the answer to that question really depends on what stage of life we’re in, because at each stage we apply this command differently.

Let’s me show you what I mean…

 As A Child, I Owe My Parents…
• Obedience And Respect

The bible says is Ephesians 6:1…
“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.” Ephesians 6:1 (NLT)

God say Obey! How do I do that? You do it willfully, pleasantly, and immediately.

 The Bible teaches that as long as you're under your parent's roof you're to obey them.

 And the bible says that since you are dependent upon your parents for food, clothing, shelter, insurance...they have the right to call the shots in your life.

When you're out on your own that's a different issue! But as long as they are providing for you and you're dependent upon them, the Bible says, you are to obey them.

Not only obey, the bible says we are to respect them

Proverbs 19:26 (NASB) “He who assaults his father and drives his mother away is a shameful and disgraceful son.”

The bible says Kids who continually disrespect their parents are shameful and disgraceful…

What about The Next Stage Of Life…

 What do I owe my parents As A Young Person?
Well God say’s I Owe Them…
• Acceptance And Appreciation

You see the older we get, we start seeing the faults of our parents. We start seeing their hangups, the chinks in their armor.

And so it becomes important for us to accept them in spite of their weaknesses.

Some people say, “Why should I choose to accept my parents?” “I didn't have a choice in who they are.” Well neither did they. You're kind of stuck with each other. That's why acceptance is vital.

• Acceptance does not mean pretending that they were perfect.
• It doesn't mean ignoring their mistakes.
• It doesn't even mean agreeing with all they did or agreeing with all they asked you to do.

So what does Acceptance mean? Let me give you 3 things not on your outline…
• First, I accept the fact that God used them to bring me into the world.

Your parents may have been excellent, mediocre, or poor but regardless of how they
treated you growing up, the fact is they gave you something that nobody else in the
world could give you – they gave you your life. You owe them your life,
regardless of the parenting skills they used. God chose to use
them to bring us into the world.

• Second, Acceptance means Listening to what they have to say.

When you're out on your own, you're not bound by their advice but you don't despise it either.

The bible tells us in Proverbs 23:22 (HCSB)
“Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.” Proverbs 23:22 (HCSB)

You can disagree without being disagreeable. You listen to them, pay them courtesy of listening to them and you don't tune them out. That's part of acceptance.

What else does Acceptance mean?
• Acceptance includes forgiveness.

The fact of life is we often hurt those we love the most – intentionally and
unintentionally. If you live together under the same roof for any length of time you're
going to be hurt by the people in your family. Families must be built on
forgiveness because we hurt each other.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but in today society it more popular to lie on a couch and blame your parents for all your problems than it is to Honor them.

And yet the bible says in Proverbs 20:20 (NIV)
“If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” Proverbs 20:20 (NIV)

Why? Because bitterness is self-destructive. It always hurts you more than the person you're bitter against.

Even today, if you're still hurting and being resentful and bitter over things your parents did in the past, you're still allowing them to control your life today. When we say things like, "You make me mad." You're admitting -- "you make me," you have control over me. We can’t continue to allow people to have that control over us…

 The bible says I'm to accept my parents, not despise them, listen to what they have to say, offer forgiveness.

Why? Because God gave you your parents for a purpose. Even those who were mistreated severely growing up – does God want you to honor their sins? Weaknesses? and the things they did wrong to you? No.

But is He's saying accept the fact that God chose them to bring you into the world. God gave you your parents for a purpose and He can even take that hurt that they may have caused and turn it around and bring good out of it, if you choose to react in the right way.

Acceptance also Includes…Appreciation..

You honor your parents when you forgive them for what they did wrong and you choose to focus on what they did right.

God says I'm not only to accept my parents, the good and the bad, but I am to appreciate them.

Deut. 26:11
“Go and celebrate because of all the good things the LORD your God has given to you and your household.” Deuteronomy 26:11a (NLT)

It's easy to take parents for granted. Some of you had super parents and it's easy for you to appreciate them. For some of you it's a little more difficult. I would suggest that there are at least two things you could appreciate about your parents regardless who they were:

1. You can appreciate their effort. Parenting is a difficult, time-demanding, energy draining job. As a parent of two children I have a new appreciation of what my parents went through. It takes incredible energy just to corral your kids, much less teach them anything.

Have you ever considered how much easier your parents' life would have been if they hadn't had you?

When was the last time you thanked your parents for just putting up with you? Who else
would have? LOL

2. The Second thing you can appreciate is their sacrifice.

Parenting is expensive.
• Somebody once said that a father is somebody who carries pictures where he once carried money.

When a couple chooses to have kids they are choosing to do without some other
things. So we should appreciate the sacrifice.

What could have our parents been able to afford if they hadn't spent that money on
us, and our clothes, our school, our doctor bills?

We are to accept and appreciate them…

Proverbs 1:8-9 (NASB)
“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.” Proverbs 1:8-9 (NASB)

It's a great transition when your parents become your friends.

What do I owe my parents As An Adult,
God says I Owe My Parents…
• Affirmation And Support

For many parents, growing older means the less respect they get. All of their affirming friends, the spouses, start to die off. They are no longer accepted in the market place for their skills and wisdom.

Their grown children are busy with their own families. And for many of them they lead lonely lives. Your parents have a great need, a desperate need, to feel and to know that they made some kind of positive contribution in your life. They need affirmation. God says He wants you to affirm your parents for the rest of your life as long as they're alive.

How do you do that?
• You affirm your parents by staying in touch with them. Every time you write a letter, a card, make a call, you're obeying this command -- honor your father and mother.

To honor means to understand the significance of.

 I would encourage you to share with them the details of your life. They're very interested. The Bible says we are to value and to treasure and to hold in highest esteem our aged parents.

Proverbs 3:27 (NLT) tells us…
“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.” Proverbs 3:27 (NLT)

Do the right thing while you've got time to do it. Affirm your parents now.

All the flowers in the world at their funeral won't do them one bit of good. The flowers at the funeral are for your benefit, not theirs. If you're going to give them flowers, send it to them while they're alive, not when they're dead.

• Affirming them means listening to counsel, giving them the courtesy of asking for counsel. Even if you don't follow it, at least you listen to it.

The Bible says that the way we treat our older, elderly parents is the demonstration of our true faith, of whether we're really a Christian or not.

1 Timothy 5:8 says this…
“People who don’t take care of their relatives, and especially their own families, have given up their faith. They are worse than someone who doesn’t have faith in the Lord.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (TEV)

That's pretty strong.

There is a shameful tragedy in our society today where busy families are abandoning the elderly and the aged to die all alone. The Bible teaches when our parents or our grandparents become too old to care for themselves it is not the government's responsibility, it's ours.

This is the cycle of the family. As time passes, the rolls reverse.
• Where, at one point in life, they fed you, bathed you, and cared for you, and took care of you.
• As they grow older, the roles are reversed. And it may be that you will need to feed them, and bathe them, and care for them. God says that's part of being a Christian.

That may mean all kinds of different things.
• It may mean going and changing the oil in their car when they need it.
• It may mean inviting them into your home.
• It may mean hiring a nurse to care for them when they are frail and can't take care of themselves.

There are all kinds of applications to it. The point is it's our responsibility to make sure they're cared for.

Many of you are already facing this issue. God says, honor your parents.

1 Timothy 5:4 (HCSB) says this…
“But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn to practice their religion toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.” 1 Timothy 5:4 (HCSB)

It is interesting to me that when Jesus Christ died on the cross, dying for the sins of the world, one of the things that He did not forget was to care for His aged mother after He was gone.

Hanging on the cross, dying in pain, one of the seven last things He said, looking down at John the disciple, "Take care of My mother." While He's dying for the world He does not forget to provide for the care of His aged mother.

Ok so let’s move to the last section of this message…Because really I know what we’ve just talked about may seem impossible for some of you…you may not feel or even want to work on doing any of these things, but I just want to remind you…

How we treat our parents is a direct reflection of what God is doing or not being allowed to do in our lives…

God says Honor your mother and father…so How do I honor a parent who was dishonorable to me?

III. What Does It Take To Make Peace With My Parents?
In A word…
• Courage

 Again God is not asking you to gloss over the relationship. He's not asking you to deny the pain.
 He's not asking you to repress it or to make excuses for your parents, their alcoholism or something else.
 God does not want you to fake it.

However, He does want you to face it head on. That's scary. But it's the only way to get past pain.

It takes a courageous decision to try and make peace with your parents, and I got to be honest with you, they may not want that… they may still reject you, it may not happen the way you want, but don’t let that be on you, the least you can do is try…

Romans 12:18 (NIV) tells us… “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

God is saying in this verse, do your best, you can’t control them, but at least you try and live at peace with everyone…

What some of you may need to do is to prayerfully have a conference with your parents.

Sit down and say,
 "Mom, dad (or both) I want to be free to honor the good that was in your life
 but I can't until we talk about the pain that I felt and still feel, and we come to some kind of resolution of it.
• I want to get it behind us and get on with life and I want to forge a new relationship you as my parents."

It's scary, that’s why we need courage, but you cannot get on with your life until you get over this. If there are wrongs to be made right do it while there's time to attempt some kind of reconciliation.

The bible tells us in Ephesians 5:31-32 (NLT)
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Possibly the most courageous thing you need to do is forgive them…Not for their sake, but for yours. Not so they can hurt you again, but so that you can get past the hurt you already feel…

Look at these next verses…Jesus is talking and says…
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:43-45a (NKJV&NLT)

You know it may be that you just can’t talk to your parents…
 maybe they've already passed on,
 maybe they won't listen, maybe because of some chemical dependency
 or maybe they are losing their mind and you're unable to talk with them –

- I would encourage you to share your pain with a Christian friend or a Christian counselor and at least get some kind of partial relief from it. But for your own sake and for the sake of your kids, stop the cycle of deception. End it right here.

I want to show you a passage of scripture and I don’t want you to be confused so stay with me… Exodus 34:6-7 (TEV) says this…

“I, the Lord, am a God who is full of compassion and pity, who is not easily angered and who shows great love and faithfulness. I keep my promise for thousands of generations and forgive evil and sin; (Notice this, this the God who loves us, his promises are for a thousand of our generations as we seek to love and honor him. But notice what happens to families who hate God, who choose not to deal with the mistakes in their life, the bible goes on to say…) but I will not fail to punish children and grandchildren to the third and fourth generation for the sins of their parents.”

Not don’t miss this, God is not after your children or grandchildren in this passage. He is saying that for those who choose not to deal with sin, what will eventually happen is that we pass that sin and the consequence of it on to our children, and then it’s pass on to their children. But God says no, break that chain, give your life to me, follow me, and I will bless a thousand of your generations…

Only God knows the pain you feel. But He does know and He does care and He can help you overcome that pain. He can even bring good out of it if you'll let Him.

Joshua 1:9 (NLT) says… “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Let Me Close With A Word To Those Without Parents

There's another group of you -- some of you were abandoned by your parents, by one or the other, or both. The Bible says honor your father and mother. Today that's a hard thing to do with divorce. Many kids are being forced to make a choice between mom or dad.

The Bible says honor both. Remember the position, not the personality.

For those of you who were abandoned by one or maybe both of your parents, God says you are a special person. You get special attention from God.

In the Scriptures, God says, I assume responsibility for abandoned children.

In Psalm 27:10 (NKJV) the bible says…
“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me.” Psalm 27:10 (NKJV)

Regardless of your circumstance, you have a heavenly father and He's perfect and He loves you unconditionally and He will never leave you and He will never forsake you and He wants you in His family.

He wants you to know Him and He wants you to get to know Him through His son Jesus Christ. He loves you more than you will ever realize. Get to know your heavenly Father.

Let’s Bow Our Heads…

This has been a painful message for some of you. God sees and understands your pain. I want to encourage you to ask God to help you.

In your hearts you might want to say something like this to God, say, "God help me let go of the hurt and the bitterness. Help me to forgive. Help me to begin to accept, appreciate and affirm the good parts in my parents. Help me to forge a new, positive relationship, if possible.

I want to be a part of your family. Thank you Heavenly Father that You loved me unconditionally and You made me for a purpose and You will never reject me. You've accepted me and today I accept You and I accept Your Son Jesus Christ into my life. I want to be a part of Your family for eternity." In Jesus name, amen.

That prayer ended my message, again please feel free to share your thoughts with me and let me know if it encouraged you in any way…that you and God bless

Below I’ve listed some other resources that will help you in mending relationships with your parents, please check them out…
Books to check out… “The Bible” by God; “The Mom Factor”, “Boundaries”, and “Safe People” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

The Hope You Need

2011-01-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

Taken from yesterdays message…

Today we are kicking off a new 6-week series I’m calling “God In Real Life” and for the next 6 weeks we’re going to be looking at how God meets us in the everyday areas of our lives.

To do this we are going to be looking at some of the names given to God in the bible, and we’ll also be looking at some of the primary people from the Old Testament. And so we’ll be looking at their story and how God met them in their life and how He wants to meet ours…

Well let’s kick off this series by looking the subject of Hope! Where do we find the Hope we need to face life’s challenges?

It’s been said that a man can go 40 days without food, several day without water, but not last 1 second without hope, why because hope is what gets us up every morning, it’s the reason we work, it’s the reason we play…it gives us a reason to go on…Well if that’s true where do we get Hope?

The bible tells us where to find hope in Romans 15:13, it says…

“May God, the source of hope, (Who’s the source of Hope, where does it come from) fill you with joy and peace through your faith in him. Then you’ll overflow with hope.”

Well why does it come from God and not from the world around us? It’s because God created us and He desires for us to live hope filled lives. Circle the words, joy, peace, and hope from that verse.

Now how many of you could use a little of that today as we begin a new year? I sure could. So where do we go for these things? Only to God! Why because He is the author of hope!

The writer of Psalm 52:9 knew this when he wrote…
“In your name I will hope, for your name is good.”
Psalm 52:9 (NIV)

What does it mean “In your name…” We’ll all throughout bible God has revealed himself through many names…Jehovah Jirah – which means I am the God who provides your needs, or Jehovah Shalom – Which means I am The God of Peace, and He has even revealed himself as…the

Alpha and Omega the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet
which means I am = “The First And The Last”

He is the God who is before all things and after all things, there is no place we can go that God isn’t, He’s been everywhere we have, even the bad places, even when we feel it or not.

And no matter where you find yourself today, whether good or bad, God says I offer hope…

To illustrate this we are going to be looking at the father and mother and mankind, Adam and Eve.

In Genesis 1 We find God creating…
Light and darkness, the heavens and the earth, the waters, the animals,

and then in Genesis 1:26-27 he creates man…
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

And in Genesis 2: we find a more detailed description of the creation of man…let’s look at verses…8-9

Now read Genesis 2:15-18

Let’s pick up the story in Genesis 3:1-5
“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, `You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, `You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'" "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Genesis 3:1-5

And the rest is history…you might want to write on your outline…sin enters into the world…

And it appears that all is lost…Adam and Eve disobeyed God, and we’re left with the consequences all around us…brother killing brother, drug and alcohol abuse, people trapped in depression or fear, marriages suffering, and so on and so on…

But let me just share with you, there is hope in God through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,

From the story of Adam and Eve I want to guide you down the PATH that leads to hope to a relationship with God Himself…

The Path To Hope Includes… 4 things

The first step involves…
Holding My Life Up For Evaluation

I have to be real with myself and ask myself where am I and how did I get here. If I find myself not happy with my situation in life, I have to say where am I and where does God want me to be. I have to be honest with myself and ask, why don’t I feel like I have any hope?

Notice the rest of the story of Adam and Eve…Genesis 3:6-7 says
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.” Genesis 3:6-7 (NIV)

For Adam and Eve they find themselves caught in disobedience, living and doing things God never intended for them to do, first they doubted God’s word, they the did exactly what He told them not to do.

I don’t know about you but for me it’s easy to do things God doesn’t want me to do. It’s easy to lose my temper, it’s easy to be selfish, it’s easy to think negative thoughts…

So it’s important to remember that the first thing I need to do to find hope is evaluate where I am…

I have to ask, Is this just something inside of me, that’s making me depressed, or angry or bitter, or was it something someone else brought into my life???

I want you to notice this next verse… Romans 8:28-29a (NIV) says
“…we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son” Romans 8:28-29a (NIV)

Notice that it does not say all things work out the way I want them too. It doesn’t even say all things on earth have a happy ending, reality teaches us that that’s just not true. Nothing is perfect in life.

But it this verse does say is…We know…(with certainty), in all things God works…(God is there in all things, does that include illnesses, unemployment, divorce, miscarrage, failure, freak accidents, dumb decision I make)? Yes, everything can be put into God’s plan for our life.

It does not say all things are good. Nor does it say God causes all things. God does not cause rape, leukemia, or cancer. But he can cause all things to work together for good and out of that He can even bring hope…

The truth is, We don’t know why things happen to us, but we can know that God can take the good, the bad, and the ugly and turn it around for our benefit.

Look at the crucifixion, did God bring Good out of that? Sure he did. It was not good…but he used it to bring millions to himself. God say he has a plan and a purpose for our lives. Notice that this promise is not for everyone. It is only for those who love God. If you are telling God I can do without you, this promise in not for you. Instead the opposite is true. All things are working for bad for you. Why because they are keeping you separated from God. This is only a promise for those who love God and are trying to live according to His purpose for their lives.

The first step on the path to Hope involves Holding my life up for evaluation, and the next step involves…

an Openness Between Me And God

I have to be Open with God…I have to be open to letting God work in my life

Genesis 3:8-11 (NIV) tells us
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not
to eat from?"

What was Adam and Eve’s response to God, they were afraid and
hid…

Let me just share with you, you don’t have to be afraid of God,
that is unless your choosing sin over obedience (there’s
consequences to our actions) however if we are wanting to live
for God, we don’t have to be afraid of Him. Why because he
loves us, He’s eager to forgive us, he desires to heal that
relationship…He desires to offer hope of a better tomorrow…

Now for Adam and Eve, they did what we do sometimes, we forgot the love of God, we either forget that God loves us to we have a misunderstanding of His character, His love and forgiveness…

I want you to notice the kind of open relationship King David had with God in Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV) Look at what he said in a prayer to God…

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

The PATH to Hope includes an Evaluation of my life, and
Openness with God, and 3rd

Placing Responsibility Back Upon Myself

The path to Hope involves, Taking ownership for what might be my part in this disconnect with God…

• First of all if you’ve never given your life to Jesus Christ I need to take responsibility for that because God’s already done His part
• Second If I find myself in a place where I just not satisfied with life, I’ve got to stop blaming other people for that, and start trusting God a whole lot more to meet my needs.

The fact is no one else can meet all your needs, not your parents, not your spouse, not your children, not your boyfriend or girlfriend, not your career, nothing but a loving God who’s eternally existed and who has made himself know to us through the person of Jesus Christ…

I want you to notice who Adam and Eve blamed for where they were in life…

“The man said, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." Genesis 3:12-13 (NIV)

It’s not my fault I’m the way I am, it’s my parents fault. You could have had the worst parents in the world, but we are still responsible for how we live life. It’s my ex-spouses fault for making me the way I am, no-no we need to take responsibility…

We cannot take a detour in the path here, we need to deal with our part. God help me not let anyone or anything keep me from becoming all that you created me to be.

I love this next verse because I need this on a daily basis…1 John

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-9 (NKJV)

So I take an evaluation of my life, I stay open to God, I take responsibility for my part, and the final step on the PATH to Hope…involves…

Experiencing Hope Today, Not Later

Look at this verse from Lamentations…

“I have hope when I think of this: The LORD’S love never ends; his mercies never stop. They are new every morning.” Lamentations 3:21-23 (NCV)

For Adam and Eve, they chose sin over obedience, and the
world has never been the same since, and we in 2011 are reaping
the consequences…But even then God didn’t leave them without
hope…look at the rest of the story…

“So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life. (which is a symbol of total defeat…now catch this) And I will put enmity (hostility or war) between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He (He who? The rest of the bible points to Jesus) will crush your head, and you will strike his heel. (Being wounded in the battle)" Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)

It’s because of Jesus that we can have hope for today…because He’s forgiven our past, He’s given us a purpose for living, and because he promises us a home in heaven…

1 Corinthians 15:21-22 (NLT)
“So you see, just as death came into the world through a man, now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man. Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life.”

1 Peter 1:3 (NIV) tells us…
“In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…”

So let me ask you, who are you hoping in? Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) tells us

“Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Closing

Now God brought you here to read this to say to you, Don’t give up, don’t give in to discouragement, instead God is saying, Give it to me. 2011’s going to be your year…

Father I’m sure there are people here today who are feeling beat up with life, and there are other who are depressed, thank you so much for bringing these people hear today so that they can turn it over to you and to have a living hope spring up inside them.

Now why don’t you pray. Dear God you know exactly how I’ve been feeling. Today I want to turn it all over to you. Help me be more aware that you are always with me, that you are watching over me even when I didn’t know it, thank you for working in my life to help me become all that you created me to be. I want to get to know you and follow your purpose for my life, so today Jesus Christ, as much as I know how I open up my life to you, I want to build a relationship with you, so that when I die I can be with you, and I want to put my trust in the hope that you will never disappoint, and that you will always love me. In your name I pray, Amen!

Living With Passion In 2011

2010-12-30T21:55:00.000-08:00

This last Sunday I preached about...

How You and I Can Live With Passion In 2011?

I mentioned 7 areas from the life of Stephen...

1. Putting My Life In God’s Hands

Have you ever wondered what the most important thing in life is? I have, and one day someone asked Jesus this question, He responded by saying…

Jesus replied: " `Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37 (NIV)

Coming from Jesus, this kinda seems like a no brainer, of course your supposed to love God. That’s something you would think that the bible would have to say. But to love him with all our heart, soul, and mind? Some people might respond, “Come on God, I love Jesus and all, but number to make him #1 seems a bit extreme don’t it. Besides I have a lot of other important things going on in my life right now. I am busy with my career, or I’m working on my relationships.

Let’s take a look at the life of Stephen read Act 6:1-7…

Acts 6:1-7 (NIV)
“In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.

Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."

This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.

So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.”

“Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom…They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit…” Acts 6:3&5b (NIV)

2. Accepting God’s Call On My Life

“Now Stephen, a man full of God's grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people. Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called)--Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia. These men began to argue with Stephen, but they could not stand up against his wisdom or the Spirit by whom he spoke.”
Acts 6:8-10 (NIV)

3. Serving God In Times of Opposition

“Then they secretly persuaded some men to say, "We have heard Stephen speak words of blasphemy against Moses and against God."
So they stirred up the people and the elders and the teachers of the law. They seized Stephen and brought him before the Sanhedrin. They produced false witnesses, who testified, "This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law. For we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and change the customs Moses handed down to us." All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intently at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel.” Acts 6:11-15 (NIV)

4. Seeking Truth Over Tradition

In Acts 7:1 the high priest asked him, “Are these charges true?”

From 7:2-34 the point of the speech is not obvious at all; we are simply given an account of the history of Israel
In Verse…
• 5…He speaks of Abraham’s promised descendents
• 6…How Israel would be taken as slave for 400 years
• v.8…How Gods promise would be fulfilled in his son
• v. 20…Moses is born
• v. 36…Moses leads them out of Egypt
• v. 40…disobedient and worship golden calf
• v. 45-47 reminds them of David and Soloman
• reminds them of their history

The result is found in Acts 7:51 (NIV)

"You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Acts 7:51 (NIV)

Jesus said…"Why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? Matthew 15:3 (NLT)

5. Increasing My Obedience Level

“Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him-- you who have received the law that was put into effect through angels but have not obeyed it."
Acts 7:52-53 (NIV)

“If people love me, they will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Those who do not love me do not obey my teaching.” John 14:23-24 (NCV)

6. Obeying God’s Lead

“When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. "Look," he said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." Acts 7:54-56 (NIV)

7. Never Doubting God’s Love.

You and I never have to doubt God’s love. If we do all we have to do is look at the cross. No matter what we face we can always trust God.

"At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. “While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." When he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 7:57-60 (NIV)

“Jesus said to the disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me.’” Matthew 16:24 (NLT)

We can learn a lot from the life of Stephen...so let me ask you, will you live a life of passion in 2011?

Monday's Download

2009-04-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

Ok so I haven’t really blogged in a while, I’ve really been trying to stay faithful to Twitter and I think I have done a fairly decent job with that. But now inspired by my Tennessee Pastor Buddy, I’m really going to try and do better with this blog thing. To start with I want to do a Monday Download, a blog that pretty much covers what’s been going on in my mind the previous week…so here it goes.

Yesterday was a great day, I thought that it started out well with what I felt were 2 great worship services. The message was on how to live with eternity in mind. I loved seeing the Holy Spirit moving in the hearts of our people, we had 1 person pray to receive Christ, and a few other say I’m gonna give my life to this Jesus stuff. Cool huh?

After church we had a meeting at my house with those who oversee each of the 5-purposes in our church. I started the meeting by asking the question, “What’s been going well at our church?” I’m sure you could add some things to our list, but the first thing we talked about was how someone got saved yesterday; also about how great it was that many people responded to our Easter push to fill up our food closets and to minister to those in need; also how our workday was the most productive work day we have had since my arrival as pastor; we also shared that God is opening up many new opportunities for our church to serve the community. One exciting opportunity in particular is that Lincoln Avenue has been asked to host next years Easter Sunrise service for Orange County to be held at Knott’s Berry Farm. This is going to be a great time for our church to give back to our community by sharing the love and message of Jesus Christ. Let me just tell, for me as your pastor, it was great to hear about all the exciting things going on. FYI…One major thing that we discussed which affects us all was our need to give many in our ministries a little time to refresh over the summer. So with that need in mind, we will be going to ONE 9:30 AM SERVICE DURING THE SUMMER. We also felt this would allow us the opportunity as a church to experiment with some things as we try and grow our church. You might ask is it possible to grow the church over the summer, let me just say we have had only one summer over the last 6 years that we haven’t grown. But something for all of us to keep in mind, it takes a united effort to keep reaching people for Jesus Christ and for all of us to keep growing in our faith. This summer there will be many opportunity to grow and serve as we try servant evangelism projects, and any other idea we might try to draw people into a relationship with Christ and bring them into our church. The first day we will be going to one service will be on June 14th, the day of our youth led service. Also, keep in mind that in September we will once again move to two services as our Summer’s End Party will lead in our big Fall push to keep growing.

Ok, so let me talk about Catalyst for a bit…first of all let me say it was awesome! What is Catalyst? It was a conference for the next generation leader, which had so many fantastic musicians and teachers. Just to give you a little laugh, I just so happened to win an award in one of the side sessions for being one of the old guys there who has been in ministry the longest. My 11 years in youth ministry and almost 7 years as a pastor pushed me over the edge over all those young guys. I couldn’t help but laugh, here I am an old pastor at 39. hahah

Andy Stanley, son of famous pastor Charles Stanley, began the conference by encouraging us minister with Clarity and Flexibility in the uncertain times. That even when we are unsure of the world around us, we can be certain that God is still in control and he will lead and guide us to fulfill the vision He has given us. No matter how uncertain life can be, the vision remains clear. If you want to know what that vision is for LABC you can check that out our on our website under about us... “We want to be a church where…”. The message of Jesus Christ never changes, but our methods are always flexible so that by all mean we may win one to the Lord. There are no sacred cows at Lincoln Avenue that we will not sacrifice in order follow the Lord.

Guy Kawasaki was another speaker, who inspired us with his talk on 11 keys to innovation. I won’t go over all of them, but one thing he mentioned was churches must be willing to Roll the DICEE to become the church God intends for them to be…
D – stands for deep, the church must be willing to give their life to this things we call the gospel and be willing to do what ever it takes to reach people
I – stands for intelligent, the church must anticipate what people need to cross the line to follow Jesus
C – stands for complete, the church needs to strive to work together so that the whole is a whole lot better
E – stands for elegance, the church should not be all that complicated, it’s design should be easy
E – stands for emotive, people will either love or hate your church, he challenged us to design something people will either love or hate, he said don’t build a church where the people are indifferent. Good word…

Craig Groescel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv stuck a knife in my heart when he said, “Lukewarm pastors create lukewarm Christians”. Ouch, Lord I don’t want to be lukewarm…your servant Abel

Brian Houston, pastor of Hillsong Church in Austrailia encouraged me when he said, “The best days of the church are ahead”; and “the church needs to believe what we could be”; and “The church can do so much more when we are together”.

One of the most inspiring speakers in the whole conference was a man named Nick Vujicic, founder of LifeWithoutLimbs.org. You really got to check this guy out on the web, what an awe inspiring God story he has. Born with out arms and legs, God has transformed this man to pray for the world around him, thank God even though life without limbs can be so hard, and to trust God with all you have. He broke down the word go-disable, to God is able…he epitomized how amazing life can be when you put your life in God’s hands.

Other leaders who were there include, Ravi Zaccarius, Rick Warren, Erwin McMannus, Jud Wilhite, Francis Chan, and Perry Noble. Also there were Jeannie Mai, Naomi Zacharia, and Bethany Hoang (3 womens working to bring the church into the arena to stop the sex trafficking of young women throughout the world). This was something God has put on my heart to pray about already so it was great to hear how the church can become involved.

These and many others made this one of the best conferences I have ever attended. I am hoping that many people from Lincoln Avenue will want to join us next year for Catalyst 2010, any takers? Ok now it’s Tuesday, it’s still my Monday download. LoL

Twitter

2009-03-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm not all that great updating this thing, so I'm going to try something to go along with this blog. Since I do love texting I'm going to Twitter what's going on in my world. Just check out the lower right hand portion of this blog to get regular updates. We'll c! Lol

Homework

2009-02-18T22:00:00.001-08:00

So it's a lot harder then you thought huh? It is for me! Last Sunday I asked for those in our church to spend, 5, 10, or 15 Minutes a day talking to each member of your family living under your roof. And by gosh if I didn't blow it the first day. I can't believe how often I don't talk. You would think that I could yap with the best of them, however the tv (aka the devil) kept me from opening up. Monday I did better, but again was surprised how difficult it can be to ask question of an 8 year old that doesn't talk about the things I do. I learned that I had to speak pokemon if I really wanted to talk. So I did, "pika, pika". As far as my girl goes, I had to talk nail polish, HSM3 (for those uniformed High School Musical 3), and dancing in order to get on the same page. I guess the topics will change in the future, however I'm really am enjoying being pokemon and dance dad right now.

As far as the mrs. goes, I have been doing better in this area too. I guess the thing about talking to your spouse really just involves make a choice to talk.

Guys don't miss your opportunity to develop those relationships. I don't want to!

Yea Yea It's Tuesday

2009-02-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

So it's Tuesday! For some reason Tuesday always comes after Monday (my day off) then it's back to work "on Tuesday"!!!! I don't know why, but Tuesday is such a hard day for me to refocus on God. Come on I'm a pastor. I spent time in God's word today, I prayed today, I even studied today, along with everything else that came my way, and yet it’s still hard to keep focus.

My heart is heavy for those in our church who are struggling with relationships. What I noticed from our survey Sunday was that those in marriages are having a hard time, those who are single want to find a good partner, and those with relatives, seem to have many who are driving them nuts. This seemed to be the recurring theme. Let me just say a few things as we move throughout the week...

Single people, please don't settle! God knows the desires of your heart, He knows when you’re lonely, He knows that some of you desire to be in a God honoring relationship. Don't settle for less! Just know that when you have God's desires flooding your heart (like finding a good Christian man or woman, like staying a virgin till you’re married, like honoring God in this huge area of your life), God will be there to give you the desires of your heart. In the mean time, become the one God wants you to be, never settle for anything then God's best! At the right time God will blow you away with what He has for you.

Married people don't give up! Marriage is hard work, especially in a world when people don't think much of marriage anymore and people are seeking an early exit. God is on the verge of doing something incredible in your life and marriage if you just hold on and get on board with what God wants from you. Let me ask you, what is the one thing you can do in your marriage to make it better? DO IT! Do it today!

What about your family, so their nuts! LoL Ok their not all nuts, but some of them do drive you over the edge. I guess the only thing we can do in times like that is to ask God to help us love them unconditionally, just like God loves us. Perhaps God will use you to reach them, so that instead of our goals and desire for them being reached, they will fulfill God's desires for them. Lord, be with our relatives, especially those who are far from you.

Hey look, while writing I started to focus! Hahahaha

Btw, I got word that a pastor friend of mine had a heart attack and will have to have bi-pass surgery this Thursday (if you read this, please keep him in prayer his name is Galen). Thanks.

Love Affair

2009-02-09T22:26:00.000-08:00

so we kicked off a new series on love yesterday, there were 5 points to the message...

• We Love Because God Loves Us. God showed us how much He loves us by sending Jesus Christ...He loved us first.

• Love Is A Choice And A Commitment. We choose who we love, and we make a commitment to them. In a marriage, you have to start with the commitment. It's the commitment to one another that will see you through the difficult times in life.

• Love Is An Action Not Just An Emotion. Love can lead to emotions, but the way you show love is by the way you treat people, talk about people, care for people. We cannot just say we love, we have to show it.

• Love Is A Skill. Because God wants us to be skilled in this area, it's good to know we can get better at it. God wants us to be great lovers of people

• Love Is A Habit. Love is not something you can turn on and off. People who love always love, even the unloveable. You cannot say you love people, when you are choosing to love some and not others...

Let me encourage you to ask God to help you become a better lover when it comes to loving people. It's what you and I are made for, to love God first and then other people. Lords help us get better at this, amen...

Thank God It's Friday

2009-02-06T20:57:00.001-08:00

TGIF, that's usually what we think when we come to the end of the week. But honestly how much rest to do we really get on Saturday and Sunday? Saturday is usually busy doing work around the house, making sure the things you missed during the week are done. Spending time with family and friends (if you have any), although fun, not very restful. You stay up late, come home late, and then wrestle in your mind if you’re really going to get up early the next day so you can go to church. Come on after all it is Sunday, sleep in day, actually get some rest day, the day before another Manic Monday (sorry for the 80's reference lol). But let me be honest how prepared are we to meet a new week without giving time to God. A lot of Christians for some reason have bought into the idea that church is an option, a place to go unless you have other plans, unless the kids have a game, unless the sun is shining in the air. I for one think that's sad! Don't get me wrong there's time for family, friends, games, etc...but why give God our leftovers. As a parent, shouldn't we want to demonstrate to our kids our need to be among other believers, laughing, loving, listening for a word from God that will go directly to our heart. Man to me that's church, walking through the door, being warmly welcomed by others, and feeling a sense of belonging in the house of the Lord. If your reading this I hope you enjoy the weekend, but remember, God will be in church on Sunday, will you?

Up Late

2009-01-30T23:26:00.000-08:00

So here I am in my office and my mind is flooded about so many things...

The church - what is it that God is wanting us to do? Yea I know the 5 purposes (Engage the culture and lead many people into a personal relationship with Christ; Enlarge the kingdom by bringing them into the fellowship known as the body, bride, church; Encourage one another to grow in our faith (how we doing with that?), Equip to serve in the church and in the world, and Exalt God, lift Him up, so that all people will come to Him), I write them every week in the bulletin. But just how many of our people really get it??? I would love to see us become so focused on what God has called us to do, that all's we do is what God has called us to do!

So I highlighted encouraging one another..."how we doing with that?" Let me ask, how are you doing with that? Do people know you at church? If so is that a good thing? Do you want to be known? How do you want to be know? I would think that if we are going to be good at this we have to make the effort to just step out and encourage one another to grow in their faith everytime we see eachother, everytime we talk to eachother, everytime we talk about eachother. Let's not be harsh/judgemental/hateful in any way, but rather let's agree together to live like the Lord Jesus Christ when he reached out His hand to one so far from God, and welcomed them as His own. Isn't that really all of our stories?

How about my family? Man I love my wife, however I sometimes have difficulty displaying that! God please help me become the man and husband you want me to be...amen.

My kids are great...Joshua really does have a genuine love for God, you can hear it in his prayers each night before he sleeps...My prayer is that he will continue to grow into the young man God wants him to be and that he will love the Lord with all his heart mind, soul, and strenth. Joy on the other hand is at a stage in her life where God is really working on her little heart. My prayer is that she will give her life to the Lord and that she will follow Him with all her heart.

This Sunday is going to be great, I am talking about God's vision for our church! While you have heard it before I believe that God desires to do a great work in our little, but growing church! But this is what I know, its going to take all of us working towards this. I want to invite you to jump on board, give your life to what God wants to do in the lives of so many, it's the only thing worth living for and really the only thing that will last forever in heaven, God's people loving and living for Him.

This blog thing is harder than I thought, mainly because when something comes to my mind, I'm not anywhere near a computer...I hope to do better with this! : )

Time To Blog

2009-01-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

You know I have really been avoiding this whole blog thing for quite a while now. Mainly because it takes a lot of work to open up and just write. However, it seems that my inability to communicate is driving me to do what I've avoided all this time, blog.

What do I hope to accomplish from this blog...3 things:

1. Be able to communicate my heart and desires as a man seeking to follow the Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

2. Be able to dialogue with all those in my church about thoughts and concerns about Christ and His church.

3. Give people a glimpse of who I really am, my life, my struggles, my concerns, and my dreams.

With all that said let the blogging begin...